Monday, May 2, 2011

Spiritual Parenting.

My husband and I are dedicating our 7mo old, Robert, this coming Sunday. Things are always done a little differently at the crossing. So in order to do the dedication, you have a class to attend before hand. We did it last year when we dedicated our son Randy, but it was nice to be reminded of why we are doing this, and they added a few new things to the class. I liked going, I like the community of other believing parents. It's nice knowing that their are a lot of parents who want what you want and are willing to walk with you and your family! At the class they give out a parenting book and this one is, Spiritual Parenting. I have already started to read it, so far so good. I like the concepts she is covering. Such as not just trying to "control" your child's behavior, because that is not a God mandate, but trying to instead give them the tools to choose a different behavior. To just model your faith, a true love for Jesus, in front of the them, daily. I haven't gotten very far but I really like the books the crossing chooses to use in their classes. They are such great tools!

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I've been neglectful

I have been incredibly neglectful of this blog. Well not just of this blog but the actual challenge of reading my bible and studying it. I have felt so tired and I have been completely unmotivated for the past to weeks. The truth is I just have not felt like investing in my relationship. What type of daughter to the King am I? Good thing like every good Father, God has a whole lot of patients for my selfishness.
Anyway my read it reminder that I want to dwell on for this post is about contentment. An issue I struggle daily with. Actually probably more like an hourly struggle. That's just how bad I am at being content. I hate doing nothing, I mean when I have something that I want to do and my children are napping I find myself so frustrated. Like right now I would much rather be at a thrift shop looking for some amazing piece to make my house a home( or dreaming about making a house that I may or may not be getting a home) but my children are sleeping so I am now deciding to give God sometime since I am currently unable to accomplish anything else. Again that is just how selfish I am with my time. Forgive me for my selfishness, God, I really just get to caught up in my own desires and I forget that you want to walk with me even through the mundane daily activities.
Anyway back to the read it reminder on contentment. I received the text telling me to read this scripture on April 15 and I am just now actually doing it(back to that selfishness). The verse is 1 Timothy 6:6-10."Godliness with contentment is great gain...". I don't think I am very godly and I know I am not c0ntent and although I don't stuggle with actual money. I struggle with not owning a home, not having beautiful things to make my place feel like me (who in my dreams, is a very trendy, thrifty, chic homemaker whom everyone just loves the craftiness of me). I suppose wanting those things may not be actual money, but to get those things requires money. And although those desire are not necessarily bad, it is probably bad that I want them so badly that I lose sleep and hours worrying that I don't have those things. And I spend so much time thinking about what I don't have, that I want that I forget to be thankful for what God has given me. Which is A LOT: a wonderful husband who works two jobs and helps out with laundry, cooking, and our little boys; two beautiful children, who have the most intoxicating giggles and smiles that could light up the darkest of places; he gave me a puppy( I LOVE animals) that although is a little crazy seems to be playing wonderfully with my very rough 18mo old; God has provided me with a temporary home that is actually much nicer then a lot of peoples homes; He has blessed me with a wonderful family who sticks their necks out for me financially, emotionally. I mean I AM blessed beyond measure and I am choosing to be content. It is not a choice I am making just this moment, but a choice that I will have to make for a lot of moments. Probably every day, multiple times a day but if i keep my blessings as my focus I believe contentment will start to seep into my restless soul.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Hello, My name is Ruth: Part III

Day's 1-5 are finished. There was so much to unpack in such a few verses! God really packed some truth into the small amount that we have covered. I really never have expectations when I first start a study because I haven't done very many of them and I feel like if I have expectations of what I am supposed to be getting out of the study then I am some how boxing God into the mold I think He should fit. With that said I do not want to go about aimlessly hoping God smacks me upside the head with some convicting piece of knowledge either. I really just do not know how to go about bible studies. So I have decided to quit trying to control what I am supposed to be "learning" and just learn.
Now that I have let go of my preconceived notions of religious revelation that should automatically pop out at me when I open my bible, I feel a lot more comfortable in the study, wading through some heavy stuff. I actually feel like I can relate to this old testament story as if God wrote it for me for this place in my life. There is so much to being a mother, a wife, and a women of God. It is sometimes seemingly impossible to do all 3, but God tells me in Ruth that it is possible. I can provide for my family and serve God. Right now my family and I, more specifically my husband Jason and I are faced with the daunting challenge of trying to follow dreams, God's plan, and look out for our little family's best interest. We are praying God is the one who leads our decisions, unfortunately it is not as easy as a telephone call to hear from God. It is a lot of prayer and scripture reading and even then our humanity can still get in the way of God's best. Fortunately for us though God is amazing and is not limited by our decisions be they the right or the wrong ones. I am comforted by the fact that all though God for bid interaction with the Moabites, he used that time that Naomi spent there to further His kingdom and His Glory. God challenges us to follow Him and even if we don't listen He calls us back. And I am amazed by the hesed that God constantly shows and that even if we are in the wrong place we can still be used to love the unlovable and that God even calls us to do so. All of these facts make me eager to find out what direction God is calling my family and I am confident that if I earnestly seek my Savior in this BIG decision that He will use where ever we end up for a greater purpose (maybe even journeying with someone else like Ruth back to Bethlehem.) I am trying to figure out which women I am in this story Naomi, who superscribed to the grass is greener on the other side mentality, only to be called back home. Or if I am more like Ruth who journeyed into a foreign land that she had no business in but went to any way out of love and trust that the God of Israel was good. Ruth was such a strong, persistent women; I hope I turn out to be more like Ruth in this story personally, but honestly I believe both women to be stronger then me. I am easily swayed by my emotions and find it hard to set one path and follow it. I want so desperately to do what is best for my two little boys and I have my ideal image in my head and I just pray I can open up to what God has in store and that I have as strong of character as either Naomi or Ruth.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Hello, My name is Ruth: Part II

Ok here goes day number two. It seams as if every time I try and make time for my bible study something hinders my ability to do so. I have had a bit of a rough day with the boys. Both have really wanted one on one mommy time. So as it currently stands I am exhausted and feeling a little guilty about giving God my fumes. I suppose He takes us in all states, even an exhausted one,right? And forgive me if me thoughts are in coherent and disorganized because of said exhaustion.

As I am going through this part of the study I really like the permission she gave us in the intro, to not be limited by these pages. I like that because when I went to read 2 Corinthians 6:14 I kept reading to verse 18. And I just really loved the way it read in the Message.
It just got me thinking about how hard my own marriage would be if Jason and I were not in agreement about who God is. I mean as if marriages do not have enough difficulties like who does dishes and laundry and cleans the bathroom. Does anyone really want the constant battle that would be two people not agreeing on who God is and that we as people created in God's image are meant to serve our God? I could not imagine a truly functional marriage that did not have God as center. I know not everyone has that relationship and I also know even if the marriage does "work" to be at it's purposed best both parties must love God and if one or the other does not; well that is heart breaking. I suppose I am on a bit of a bunny trail as my mother likes to call it so I will try to stick to the study.
Ok I have completed the work book pages and all I have to say is WOW. God can use anything to try and grab our attention and bring us back to him, including food. Who would have thought something so small as a rumor God had over turned the famine and that there was now food in Bethlehem could be used for God's glory and the leading of a lost child back home? I am so amazed with the little nudges God gives me that let me know " Hey my love, it is time to come home." Sometimes I wont even realized I have stumbled into a foreign land, and then off in the distance I will hear a rumor of something good God is doing and all of the sudden I miss the closeness I once felt with Him. These day's it is often the innocence and complete dependency of my two little boys that brings me to my knees and has me wanting desperately to be back in the presence of my God when I stray because I am now responsible not just for me but for Randy and Robert! Being a mother is so humbling and it makes me want to be in Bethlehem with God's blessings. Psalm 16:8 " Day and night I'll stick with God; I've got a good thing going and I'm not letting go!" That verse depicts very much how I feel. I am nothing without my Savior and I do not want to let go of a good thing.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Hello, My name is Ruth: Part I

I started my Tuesday morning bible study today. We are supposed to have day's 1-5 completed before we start on Tuesday April 2nd. I now have day 1 finished. It's hard to focus while you have to read and deal with a crying baby and have to try feeding a hungry toddler intermittently between scripture verses. But despite the challenges I think I am really going to like this study. The intro was about strengthening your core. Personally, I know I could benefit a lot from some spiritual core strength. I am hoping that this study in Ruth will help give me just that.
Ruth's family packed up and moved out of Bethlehem-Judah (which was part of ancient Israel) because of a famine and they relocated to Moab. Unfortunately Israelites were forbid from becoming part of the Moabites because they were enemies of Israel constantly trying to curse God's chosen people. Ruth's family chose to move to Moab despite God's warning. And the question that was poised for us from this passage was , " What will you choose?". Will you choose to stay in the land God gave to you despite your desperate state, or will you venture into an area God roped off, just to try and make your life easier? No one wants to suffer, I certainly do not and I most definitely do not want my family to suffer. So where is the line? When are you running away from hardship and forgetting that God is faithful to do what He has promised and when are you following God to make things better? I know I want to do what is right by God and by my family, it is a constant prayer and effort to keep God center and from their we hope He leads all decisions. I never want to be running away from difficulty, I want to have God lead me trough it ( Galations 6:9)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Read It: This is where I am starting

Acts 17:24-28

What a humbling verse. God made me, so why do I so often try and make him? He doesn't fit me, I grow to fit in Him. He is my creator, redeemer, and friend. He made this earth for me because He loves me and I need to love Him more and stop boxing Him in as if He is not God. I would love to live and move in Him all the time instead of following my own carved out painful paths! It's so awesome to know if I seek, I will find because that is God's promise to me. He will always be right next to me, I just have to reach out and grab His hand and walk with Him.
The other part I like about this verse is that it talks about how God is the creator of everything and that He doesn't need me to exist. He want's me to follow him because He loves me, but He doesn't need me. It really puts in perspective who is in charge, since I love to fancy my self as someone who does a pretty good job of running the show. I too often forget that this life is not about me and what I am doing for God but what He is doing for me!