I have been incredibly neglectful of this blog. Well not just of this blog but the actual challenge of reading my bible and studying it. I have felt so tired and I have been completely unmotivated for the past to weeks. The truth is I just have not felt like investing in my relationship. What type of daughter to the King am I? Good thing like every good Father, God has a whole lot of patients for my selfishness.
Anyway my read it reminder that I want to dwell on for this post is about contentment. An issue I struggle daily with. Actually probably more like an hourly struggle. That's just how bad I am at being content. I hate doing nothing, I mean when I have something that I want to do and my children are napping I find myself so frustrated. Like right now I would much rather be at a thrift shop looking for some amazing piece to make my house a home( or dreaming about making a house that I may or may not be getting a home) but my children are sleeping so I am now deciding to give God sometime since I am currently unable to accomplish anything else. Again that is just how selfish I am with my time. Forgive me for my selfishness, God, I really just get to caught up in my own desires and I forget that you want to walk with me even through the mundane daily activities.
Anyway back to the read it reminder on contentment. I received the text telling me to read this scripture on April 15 and I am just now actually doing it(back to that selfishness). The verse is 1 Timothy 6:6-10."Godliness with contentment is great gain...". I don't think I am very godly and I know I am not c0ntent and although I don't stuggle with actual money. I struggle with not owning a home, not having beautiful things to make my place feel like me (who in my dreams, is a very trendy, thrifty, chic homemaker whom everyone just loves the craftiness of me). I suppose wanting those things may not be actual money, but to get those things requires money. And although those desire are not necessarily bad, it is probably bad that I want them so badly that I lose sleep and hours worrying that I don't have those things. And I spend so much time thinking about what I don't have, that I want that I forget to be thankful for what God has given me. Which is A LOT: a wonderful husband who works two jobs and helps out with laundry, cooking, and our little boys; two beautiful children, who have the most intoxicating giggles and smiles that could light up the darkest of places; he gave me a puppy( I LOVE animals) that although is a little crazy seems to be playing wonderfully with my very rough 18mo old; God has provided me with a temporary home that is actually much nicer then a lot of peoples homes; He has blessed me with a wonderful family who sticks their necks out for me financially, emotionally. I mean I AM blessed beyond measure and I am choosing to be content. It is not a choice I am making just this moment, but a choice that I will have to make for a lot of moments. Probably every day, multiple times a day but if i keep my blessings as my focus I believe contentment will start to seep into my restless soul.
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